The Three Gates
Written by Anthony Demangone, Powered by NAFCU
I recently shared something on my Facebook feed that seemed to draw attention.
It was a simple graphic that talked about the three gates of communication. I'm not sure where it came from. Some say ancient Greece. Some say Buddha. And there are other claims as well. I'll put aside where it came from for the moment because I think the message was powerful - at least to me.
When speaking or communicating, your words must pass three gates before you can share them.
- Is this true?
- Is this necessary?
- Is this kind?
There are days when I think I'd be reduced to hand gestures by these gates! A few thoughts.
The first gate is simple. Enough said.
The second? It is tough. I've tried to focus on this at home. My kids are...kids. They make mistakes. Is it necessary to correct them every time? I don't think so. At work, am I adding value with a comment? Or just trying to have everyone know how smart I am? This gate is a work in progress for me!
The third gate is very difficult. Can everything be kind? Constructive feedback. Negotiations. This is also a work in progress for me. But I think we can all do this: Start with eliminating things that are intentionally unkind.
I'd love your thoughts, as always. And as always, thanks for what you do.
About the Author
Anthony Demangone, Executive Vice President and COO, NAFCU
Anthony Demangone, NCCO is Executive Vice President and Chief Operating Officer at NAFCU, where he oversees day-to-day operations and manages the association's education, marketing, membership, human resources, building facilities, finance and information technology functions. He also authors NAFCU's executive blog, Musings from the CU Suite and co-authored "Managing and Leading Well," a book for credit union leaders, with NAFCU President and CEO Dan Berger.