Musings from the CU Suite

Written by Anthony Demangone

Yesterday, I asked you what advice you'd give a graduating class.  And many of you responded!  Here's the advice you gave...

• Today you asked if we had advice for graduates.  I was so very fortunate to be able to give a speech at my high school graduation.  I planned that from the moment I stepped in the doors of my high school my freshman year.  My goal was to be the Senior Class President for no other reason than I wanted to speak to my classmates – whom I had gone to school with since kindergarten – on that very special day.  Even given the thought I put into that speech - strangely enough, I wrote it on Sunday between church and Commencement.  That wasn’t typical of me – I normally was well ahead of task.  As I look back now, I really was ahead of task.  I worked on the speech for four years.  I just didn’t put it on paper until a couple of hours prior to speaking.  So my first piece of advice would be to recognize the work we can do every day that might not be written down, recorded, or even recognized.  That work is still very important and can do as much for us as any high profile, well-executed project or plan.
• My mother was mortified when I began my speech with “Good Afternoon.”  That was not what a speaker at Commencement was supposed to do!  It was a given that my speech should have started like this: “Graduates, faculty, parents, and honored guests……”  Well I didn’t do that.  Even so - every class reunion I have been to since that day (going on 25 years) I have had at least one classmate tell me that they remembered my speech and sometimes - even in these later years – they have thought about it.  So my next piece of advice is to blaze your own trail because it will make an impact as long as there is passion behind your motives.  Don’t throw tradition out the door, however.  There is great value in tradition.  But shake it up once and awhile and find a good balance.
• Things will never make you happy.  Spend your time fostering relationships, not acquiring possessions.
• Listen to what your grandparents and parents told you. Follow your heart, but don’t forget what they told you. There’s probably no one in the world who loves(d) you more!
• It’s hard to choose just one or two pieces of advice but I would advice a graduating class to remember that we are all human and we all make mistakes. Learn from them and try not to make the same mistake – or something even close to the same mistake – again. If someone else made the mistake, give them some slack where possible. If you were the one who made the mistake remember how you would want to be treated and treat that other person in the same manner.
• The graduation speaker was one of our teachers, Wayne Barham, a war veteran.  He told us that we should take time to “stop and smell the roses” once in a while.  I have never forgotten his words.  I can tell you that others that were there that day criticized him for his words.  They felt that a commencement speech should be rah, rah and inspiring and challenging. So here I am today 41 years later.  Wayne is also still alive.  Maybe we didn’t solve world hunger.  Maybe we didn’t discover a cure for cancer.  But I do feel that I am a better person for having taken Mr. Barham’s suggestion. In today’s fast paced world I think we all too often don’t take time to stop and smell the roses.
• (From a reader who just gave a commencement speech to a group of 4th graders.) I told the students about my mother who was born in 1911.  My mother told me and my siblings and anyone else that would listen about when she was in grade school and the teacher left the class room one day.  The teacher came back into the room a few minutes later by herself.  She told all the student that a new child would be joining their class that day.  The teacher went on to say that the new student was a black girl. (In the early 1900’s where I was from -this was a rarity.)   The teacher told the students that she expected this new girl to be treated with respect.  She expected that she would be invited to play and be a part of everything that went on in the class. If there is one thing I remember about my mother is that she treated everyone with RESPECT and DIGNITY.  I told the students that I felt that they should treat everyone with RESPECT and DIGNITY. I told them that we hear all the time about bullying in schools.  I told them that bullying comes about because we don’t treat our classmates with the respect that we should. My commencement address was probably only 2-3 minutes in length.  Will my students remember what I said?  I can only hope so.  I can tell you that the teacher had them prepare “thank you” notes for me.  The notes were prepared before I gave me speech, but I do believe, from reading these notes, that I did affect their lives in some small positive way. I will continue to promote respect and dignity at every chance I get.  
• Do not let others dictate the course of your life.  Never be afraid to try something new.  Think past your experiences and plan past your tenure.  And finally love with all your heart-- your life, and your family and your friends.
• Life is a team sport - and not everyone can be the captain; it takes groundskeepers to make the field ready and to mark the lines, it takes coaches to prepare and mentor the team, it takes the medical team to stand by ready for an injury, it takes a variety of team players to compose the team, and the water boy is probably the most important - he stands ready to run onto the field with water or a towel to provide sustenance for the team (he has to be quick about it and will probably never be acknowledged for his contribution), and cheerleaders - we can't forget them, they keep the "happy energy" going, even when it's their team losing - they have cheer and inspire the team and the crowd to keep up the fight.  So, be a team player, be a water boy, a cheerleader, a medic and maybe the captain - be mindful of what it takes to put the game on.
• I think Tim McGraw’s song (whether you are a country music fan or not) said it pretty well.  “Live like you were dying”.  Don’t always wait “until” – until we have more money, until we retire, until the kids are older, until the time is right...  You never know when you will run out of “untils” and when you do, it is too late to change anything.  Spend time with parents, relatives and friends because they won’t be around forever and while people don’t live forever, memories of them can.  Live a life that you will be able to look back on and be proud of.
• My contribution to the Graduating Class would be (words of wisdom from my mother): work at something you love.. and you’ll never work a day in your life.  When the world around you is grumbling and despairing about another day at work, you’re looking forward to the challenges that await.  But (and this is a big one), remember that no matter how much you love your work try to keep a balance in life; because on your death bed you’ll never regret not spending more time at work but rather the time not spent with family or on that never taken trip.
• Enjoy this time in your life, have fun, make mistakes and learn from each of life’s experiences.  Work hard to achieve your goals in life and in love and be happy where you are in each phase of your life.  Always be honest with yourself and with others.  Know that it’s okay to ask for a hand up but don’t look for handouts, be your own person.  Independence is self-reliance, self-responsibility, it’s empowering, it provides you with the freedom to make choices in your life, to discover and to turn dreams into reality.  And, that’s something to be proud of.
• Don't burn your bridges!

Wow.

Many thanks, everyone.  Now, on that note, let's make this weekend count!